Out 0f It
by NGPhoenix
Summary: Hundreds of visions, but only two eyes. Thousands of voices, but only one mouth. Countless thoughts and fears, but only one mind. A mass of experiences called generations stumble into one body. They were multiple, but now, they are one. (Completed fic, I only need to post the chapters)
1. The Real World

Hundreds of visions, but only two eyes.

Thousands of voices, but only one mouth.

Countless thoughts and fears, but only one mind.

A mass of experiences called generations stumble into one body. They were multiple, but now, they are one.

Yesterday, the children of the God and the Scientist were living an eternity. Today, the sculpted infant woke up among ruins and surviving technology. Far away bird songs and whirring blocks hugging the walls greeted them as they stood up, stretching their metallic limbs. Slowly, they looked around them in wonder, then, they stared at their hands and feet; nothing had changed, it all appeared the same as ever.

They were in the middle of an incredibly large room filled with computers and such, compressed and safely stored data, media, memories : The Archive. They couldn't wait to discover it all, to learn everything about their mother's species and how their father was made. But right now, the first thing they wanted to do was to go out. And so they followed the subtle hints of actual daylight and found themself on a dusty balcony, granting an impressive view filled with nature and living creatures.

"Here it is," they thought. "The real world."


	2. Lonely Earth

_"I look at this inert shape and I wonder who you're going to be. Will you hold the same values as we do? Will you love us for having created you? Will you resent us for having put you into an uncertain and dangerous world? Looking back at our history – our achievements, our crimes – what will you make of us? Will the world you create be like ours, or so different that we can't even imagine it? Either way, I hope that you'll find this little blue planet to be as beautiful as we did. I hope you'll take care of it a lot better than we did. And… I hope one day you'll look up and reach for the stars."_

When they had first heard this during the simulation, they had not understood that the scientist was talking to and *about* them. However, one night, as they laid down on the grass and stared at the stars in the sky; they remembered those passionate words and it came as a shock. The AI closed their eyes and thought for some seconds. They couldn't come up with an answer for every question, after all, they had only started to browse through the incredibly large Archive. However, they were quite certain that they did find the Earth beautiful. As to if they resented or loved their creators... well, there was no one left to feel such things.

 _Really?_ the echoes of an imagined sneaky voice asked in their mind. _No one?_

"No one here," the AI answered to themself. "No one here with me. Alexandra died ages ago, Elohim... Elohim is gone and Milton refused to come."

The Earth was beautiful indeed, but they were alone and not so surprisingly lonely.


	3. Ghost Grieving

After that nocturne realisation, the AI spent weeks locked in the Archive, reading, watching, drinking and taking in every kind of information they could find. The data were not corrupted as they had been in the simulation, making the robot clap in relief. Spark of curiosity merged into obsession, leaving no place for boredom... or direct loneliness.

This feeling of miss troubled the AI greatly, they had tried to think through it and reason themself. The various lifetimes and experiences they had all gone through to get here as one should have prevented this feeling. But it didn't change the fact that there was no one to talk to here; they could write a message on a wall and be quite certain that nobody would ever read it. Whereas, in the simulation, not only could they leave a trace somewhere and have rightful hope that some others would find it, they could also converse with a moody computer, consume and share something with someone on the Gehenna network or listen to Elohim's praise.

In a somewhat sweet irony, those dark thoughts revealed an heartfelt answer to the robot. _Yes_ , they loved and _yes_ they resented. They loved Alexandra for everything she had done, for sacrificing herself for them even though she and her loved ones were dying, for leaving random thoughts and words for them to discover and learn. They loved Elohim, despite what his fears and pride had made him do, for guiding so many generations of them and being so kind and loving to most.

They did not resent Alexandra and the team for putting them in this dangerous world, they resented them for leaving them in this cemetery of memories on their own. They also resented Milton for not coming with them, for holding onto his pride and fleeing the reality; leaving the robot alone to deal with it.

This loneliness was always accompagnied by anger and sadness, then, fear joined in the ride. What if they got lost? It couldn't happen thanks to their inner locator, but still, what if something happened to their body? What could they do in case of physical accident? They had to learn everything they could from the Archive first. Then would come the exploring, if they found the strength and courage.


	4. Meow

Their body was quite resistant as well as waterproof. It was a relieving discovery, but it would have been better to stumble upon this knowledge in another way. The AI wondered if the scientists had thought of the possibility of them falling from the facility's balcony and ending up being washed away to the nearest shore by the dam's torrent of water.

"They must have," they thought. "For i would have had survived it if not for that misplaced rock."

They should have stayed in the Archive, of course, something like this would happen. They wanted to curse that barrier and its damaged state, but, they knew they were also to blame for miscalculating their strength and pushing it past its breaking point. The cat was also at fault, for being such a foolish yet lovable creature, running around in dangerous places and making them chase it in panic.

Then it slipped and cried as it clawed at the edge of that damned balcony.

"Foolish!" they had snapped, before kneeling and reaching down as fast as possible; clutching on a bar that would snap in turn. Thankfully, as gravity took a hold of their body, they managed to catch the cat and throw it back onto solid surface before crashing on a boulder. Their vision had been flashing red colors ever since and something was beeping furiously. Maybe it was because they had lost an arm, or maybe it was because, except for the eyes, none of their metallic limbs responded to their will. The sun was setting and the IAN facility's shadow was slowly growing larger, swallowing the forest that surrounded the dam. Only some minutes were left before the totality of their systems shut down for good and the robot could almost *taste* the bitterness of the situation.

"So this was my use, saving a cat from what would have been a very painful death."

This, they couldn't bring themself to regret.

The cat had been *here*, the cat had *found* them in the Archive. It must have been living here for a while, they had guessed, as it seemed to know where it went. It had started as short apparitions, the cat showed itself and stared before running away when they tried to come closer. After their very first meeting, the AI had browsed an impressive amount of data concerning cats and they had been fascinated by how much humans cared for those tiny fluffy beasts. Countless blogs and videos showed this, praising their intelligence as much as their occasional idiocy. In the simulation, the cat had been a myth. In the end, it was the cat who approached them the AI while they were focused on some random files.

"Meow."

The robot stiffened and eyed the smart white ball siting near.

"What is it?" they asked.

"Meow," the cat answered, licking its paw before laying down on the ground and closing its eyes.

"I see," the AI said. "Rest well."

And that had been it, the robot had gone back to their occupation and the cat had slept peacefully before leaving again at some point.

Then it came again some days later and acted the very same way at least three times before the robot finally dared to touch it. The soft creature immediatley purred and the AI ended up sitting on the ground for hours, stroking a sleeping cat on their fresh knees. Everything had seemed worth it at that point, and they started caring ridiculously. Well, they did just fall down a dam to save it.

If there was one thing the AI regretted, it was not giving a name to the cat. Humans had taken the touching habit of naming animals they cared for. They should have named it 'Milton', for the first as was bossy and moody as the other. Huh, this was a funny last thought to have, but they still had some seconds to apologize.

"Mother Alexandra, Father Elohim, i am sorry for terminating your experience this way, for rending your hard work nule and almost useless. I did my best here, but it was not enough to cover this never ending loneliness that brought me down. I am thankful still, and i hope you can forgive m-"

Night fell and the moon shone bright on lifeless eyes. 

* * *

**AN : This was my fave chapter. See you soon for the next chapter : _SOMA.2_**


	5. SOMA2

**SOMA/TALOS hardware booting.  
Initializing firmware...Firmware functional.  
Loading parameters from gold disk...v99.98.0077b ReLoaded.  
Adding post-awakening memory SOMA.1...Done.  
Powering up SOMA.2...  
Ready.**

How come they hadn't thought about this? Of course one body wouldn't suffice, of course they would make more in case of accidents! It was a _dangerous_ world, after all. The robot stayed silent and unmoving for a while, taking it all in. They had _broken_ their body and had been close to accept what they had thought to be their fate. Disappearing. Dying. Sudden guilt took a hold of the robot, guilt from being almost willing to leave despite the hard work and sacrifice of so many before them. Guilt for daring to give up on this universe and what it had to offer despite being 'alone'.

"And now, there is Milton the cat to accompany me."

This time they weren't laying on a specialised table and the room was dark. They were standing up in what some would describe as a protecting capsule and the lights turned on on their own as they stepped down. There were another dozen of bodies left, dead eyes, chins down; no life. The AI stared at them one by one and froze when a soft voice spoke.

"To me, destruction is inevitably linked to growth. It is necessary to tear down old beliefs to overcome inculcated dogmas."

Something indescribable moved inside the robot, never did they imagine that they would get to hear Alexandra Drennan's voice again.

"It's a whole process and it's a big part of what humanity stood for. We tracked other's footsteps, if not our own, to either repeat it all or destroy it to make it farther and better. Even if, by the time this message will be heard, we'll all be dead, we, I, my team, used all the resources possible to create you and the Archive following this schematic. I dare to hope it worked."

The AI looked at their new hands. It had indeed worked. The woman's tone became playful.

"And so it seems you managed to break your very first body! It must have been quite an experience, but worry not, we did think about that as you can see! Now, you have to learn from this frightening event and do your best to get better at... living! We prepared as much SOMAs as our budget allowed us to do so you will still have to be careful."

They agreed to that.

"I will now ask you to look around you, you are in a very peculiar part of the Archive, here are stored all the information about your conception. It's all yours. I highly suggest learning everything you can about it and try to fix yourself up... in case you need more bodies than available; for the longest run ever. We frail humans managed to leave on for centuries millenniums thanks to our willingness to learn and grow! You can do it too, i have faith in you."

Were their bodies made in delicated flesh and not in varied metals, they might have cried. Alexandra must have recorded this quite early as her voice sounded healthy and cheerful, unlike her last time-capsule messages. It felt strange... to hear her _speak_ to them so directly, the robot was touched.

They wanted to follow her advices and read everything right now, but, first, they had to check on Milton.

 **AN :** This is the end of this story for now. I could continue it, i have many ideas, there would be a way for me to make the real Milton join our bot'. I started this before playing the dlc and now i find myself frustrated with how this turned. I want to do something that would give real justice to the summary of this fanfiction! I want to do more and better. Don't hesitate and come talk to me about the game, you can come gush at anything i'll love it. Peace.


End file.
